I went to a party in 1976, but I didn’t come home until 2003. I went to the party to drink, get high, have fun, and at first, it was. I thought I was cool and had finally “found myself” and fit in somewhere. I was unaware the pathway of addiction was being paved for me, a pathway of degradation and destruction. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined falling from being a very successful and tenured educator, to being a burden on my family and society because I couldn’t stop using drugs. It took a while, but I found myself jobless, homeless, penniless, and hopeless before a Power greater than myself stepped in and said, “Enough.” After 27 years of active addiction, I “found myself” unwillingly thrust into a frighteningly new and uncertain way of life called Recovery.
I kicked and screamed my way through the first weeks, untrusting and untrustworthy, even using one more time with 65 days in. But that Power greater than myself is a force to be reckoned with! I was given two choices: either surrender my will or go back to jails, institutions, and maybe even death. I decided to put forth a sincere and genuine effort to recovery. That was May 27, 2003.
I found recovery in a 12-step fellowship, and although every day hasn’t always been easy, it has been simple: I just don’t use, no matter what. I’ve been through many “firsts:” deaths of loved ones, divorce, lol, now senior citizenship—but my worst day clean has been far better than my best day using. After all, not everyone gets a second chance to make a first impression like I have.
Today I enjoy rich relationship with family, community, myself—and most importantly, with God. Who knew that after over 2 decades of recovery, a new opportunity to be of service and make living amends would present itself in the form of working as a recovery and family coach for a wonderful organization called the Courage Center? Lol, I believe I’ve finally “found myself.”
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